Self-Care; Where to Begin
I know you have heard the term "self-care" a million times over, and you may have even had conversations with people about self-care. As a therapist, I am CONSTANTLY talking to the people I work with about how they care for themselves. I often begin conversations by asking, "What are you needing?" How often do people ask you that question? Better yet, how often do you ask yourself that question?
Unlike what so many things I see on social media are trying to tell you and sell you, self-care is the action we take once we establish what our needs are. The funny thing about needs is that they are often changing. We might need something new at any moment, even if we have already experienced that situation. We may have a different need, OR the need is the same but the practical way(s) of meeting that need changes. I address social media because I often see particular and identical "self-care" posts about meditation, bubble baths, taking time out for yourself, etc. While those things sound great and can be effective, maybe you're a parent of young children, and you can't even use the bathroom alone, let alone take 20 minutes to breathe. You may be living paycheck to paycheck, and that super fancy bubble bath kit or that yoga class is outside your budget. Maybe you tried meditation and yoga and didn't like it. Does that mean you aren't able to take care of yourself? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Too often, people come to me telling me they have tried these things that haven't worked for them, and now they think something is wrong with them. There is NOTHING wrong with you for needing to find other ways to meet your needs! You are unique, and self-care doesn't come with a one size fits all manual. So, where do we begin? Let's break down establishing our needs:
NEED TO LIVE (PHYSICAL NEEDS)
Daily necessities such as food, money, housing, sleep, healthcare, physical space, and touch are NEED TO LIVE needs.
NEED FOR VARIETY (MENTAL NEEDS)
Continued learning and recreation: educating yourself, hobbies, things you like to do, entertainment, causes of stress, and stress management are NEED FOR VARIETY needs.
NEED TO FEEL VALUE (SPIRITUAL NEEDS)
What makes us feel important and adds purpose, meaning, and value to our life are NEED TO FEEL VALUE needs.
NEED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED (EMOTIONAL NEEDS)
Belonging, companionship, friendships, relationships, and connections to others and ourselves are NEED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED needs.
Ask yourself, what are my needs? How am I meeting my needs right now? Am I meeting my needs in healthy ways or unhealthy ways? Am I meeting my needs in ways that fit me? You are a unique individual with many strengths. Utilize your strengths to develop a self-care routine and self-care language.
Contact us for more information about self-care strategies and how to get connected with a Mental Health Professional who can support you on your journey of self-discovery.
